Fond Memories

Our memory is an incredible thing. I guess I'm noticing it more because of Bryton's lack of memory. I can't wait to have family traditions that he'll remember, enjoy and hopefully carry on through his life. I feel for those Alzheimer patients. If there is anything devastating to lose, it's the memories that bring you happiness and joy every time you think of them, you know, those memories that make you smile. That being said, I have compiled some of my fondest memories after much thought and have listed them below. What a great place to come and remind myself of some of the greatest times in my life... small times and big times. I hope you enjoy reminiscing with me.
(Starting with the longest ago)

1. Swimming at Casey's house during the summer. EVERY summer! That's a classic. (Not to mention me always getting mad at Cole and going home, then Casey having to be mediator to make it better. Poor guy.)

2. Neighborhood flashlight tag. (Ditto the Cole thing here.)

3. Helping my dad make rice krispy treats ( I get my awesome rice krispy treat skills from him, my mom can't make them to save her life) and Snowballs with my mom during Christmas time. (She dominates the snowball category.)

4. "Forking" all of the meat that went on the grill. Didn't matter what I was doing, after mom would season meat she'd call me in to fork it to death :)

5. Fastforwarding some - Hanging out with Amy 8th grade - Senior year. Hanging out at her house in general, but specifically, driving to Pooh's to tan, almost dying after having a full soda bottle chucked at us, her taking me to church (the whole reason I'm where I am today), going up town and dressing up to go out, jamming to some christian music in her room, making food in her kitchen, hard candy, fortune cookies, chicken strips, french fries and heinz ketchup :)

6. Hanging out with Carrie B and Jabbi - both at school, on the weekends, after school, etc. Carrie and I made an awesome cake for the rink once, and Jabbi spent the week with Aaron and I in Myrtle Beach over New Years.

7. Kristin Duncan and I and our nights at Long Branch, and the night she introduced me to Aaron, and going with her to Chicago... we had great times.

8. Me and Mindy Piper -- too many nights in Pinckneyville, hanging out with Nipper, decking ourselves out for football games. We had so much fun together.

9. Dagan - praise God for him my senior year. We did a lot of talking and he hung out a lot!

10. Sabra and our trip to Steak n Shake after working the rink. And poor Super in the back... that's all I have to say about that.

11. Speaking of the rink... every bit of it. Hanging out with friends, stealing trolli burgers & dogs (right Matty?), Lance and Aaron playing washers, Zeke flying across the rink floor, me getting tied to a pole, Rachel, Sabra, Heather H and I trying to play hockey with just the four of us... awww bliss ;)

12. Cherry Vanilla Fruitopia - and swimming at the Morris'. Those were great summers.

13. 3 words, Par 3 Course. We had such a great time there, girls driving the cart and hitting a few shots, struggling to find golf balls, fighting mosquitos, getting home at 1:00 am. TOO fun!

14. Rachel and I meeting our boyfriends at Kokopeli for dinner. Then going to miniature golf. Wish there was still miniature golf around here.

15. Aaron rink and personal duties: Sam's trips, buying flowers for the Valentine's Day skate, going shopping during a blizzard on December 23rd because he had done NO shopping for Christmas yet. This was all before we were dating, but we really enjoyed each others company.

16. Our first dating Christmas at Aaron's parents house when his whole family was there (he's going to think I'm crazy) or just when his whole family is there in general. I loved being there with his family. Going to hear the orchestra downtown, loving Neno's quirkiness, and Chuck's, well, Chuckness, helping his mom prepare meals, hanging out with Mark and Jayden, Jayden's hippopotmus for Christmas. I just love it... I even remember having a headache and sitting out on the porch, and playing cards with the family late at night. I just love... family. Maybe that's why I'd like a bigger one myself.

17. Visiting Aaron's parents during the summers of our dating. Vividly I remember taking late night convertible rides, looking at the Fenton Castles, eating custard at Fritz' and Ted Drews. Playing in the sprinklers in the morning... playing with Zeke... going for walks in their park, etc.

18. Traveling with Wild Week in 2004. Meeting so many amazing people, feeling needed, having amazing new experiences, missing Aaron like crazy, him sending me his sweatshirts when we were in Glorietta, feeling better in my own skin then I ever had. (The 2nd best time about feeling good in my skin... now, weird after just having been pregnant.)

19. Helping in the youth group. Working hard all day with 1st graders and still being so excited to have Stomp on Wednesday nights and Fuel on Sunday nights.

20. Getting married. If I could relive any one week of my life, this would be it - wedding and honeymoon. I'll never forget how I felt walking down that aisle, or seeing Aaron watch me walk down the aisle, or talking during one of the songs about how funny it was going to be leaving in the convertible when the wedding party had decorated the truck, and that I had lipstick on my teeth :) And that he thought I was beautiful. Even Ken's message was perfect. Then staying up most of the night in the hotel room talking... and then flying together for the first time the next day. And everything that went wrong, our luggage getting lost, Aaron leaving his credit card behind... it was awesome, and perfect. Going golfing, and hiking, and watching movies, and playing miniature golf, and eating ice cream... and enjoying each other -- it was awesome. We saw an amazing double rainbow... we joked that it was God's blessing on our marriage :)

21. Newlywededness: waking up early on a Saturday just happy to see each other and going out for breakfast. Coming home to a clean house and candles lit. Our first married Christmas together... listening to Christmas music, eating cookies and decorating the tree -- a family tradition :) Playing Tiger Woods golf, and watching everwood, 7th heaven on Monday nights.

22. Select times on the road.

23. Telling Aaron I was pregnant on Easter. Plastic eggs with a puzzle that said, "The Easter Bunny brought more than eggs this year, we're having a baby!" And seeing his face... wonderful!

24. Watching the 2008 Olympics in the comfort (on uncomfort) of our upstairs air-conditioned apartment, eating yogurt covered pretzels. Did I mention I was 7 months pregnant? Loved it!

25. Bringing Bryton home. I would say "having Bryton", but lets be real, you push for 2.5 hours and then be too tired and exhausted to enjoy your child... it was very much worth it, but not my fondest memory :) Giving him his first bath, Aaron enjoying him. Touching his little toes / hands.

26. And... currently. There are just times in your life when you can feel that they'll be times you'll remember forever... and I'm living them... and I know it.

He Doesn't Need My Help

I don't know about you, but I appreciate feeling needed. To know my husband, and my son, wants and needs me by their sides means a lot to me. I love feeling like a task could not be performed as well without my being a part of it. Maybe it's a pride thing, maybe it's just the satisfaction of feeling that you have something to contribute, either way, I'm trying to revamp my thinking.
Pastor spoke this morning on worry. That's like me, the pot, calling the kettle black. I found humorous (as did my dad) that Joe began the sermon with "Don't Worry, Be Happy" *do do do do do do do do do do doooooo, do do do do do do doooooo, do do do do do, Don't worry, be happy now*. You know the song. So do I. Why? Because it was my theme song when I was growing up.
I worried about EVERYTHING. To the point of my mother making me listen and learn the lyrics to this particular song probably 5 out of 7 days of the week. Really. I'm not kidding. Sad huh?
Anyway, I worried about not having teeth when I was old, about ever finding the job I wanted, about never getting married, never having kids, dying. I worried about where everyone was and why they were there, I worried about money. I worried about that a lot. I got used to ordering the cheapest thing on the menu and then feeling guilty for what that would cost my parents. I worried about everything... and, I've carried that into my adult life.
Until I met Aaron, I did the same thing at restaurants. He brought me out of that a little. What is $2.00 to get what you realllllly want? After all, we wouldn't be eating out if we couldn't afford it. But I still worry about my teeth falling out... I worry about being alone, with no family, in my old age, I worry about ever fulfilling my ultimate purpose, I worry about a career and what that will entail. I worry about never finding my niche. I worry about what I wear, the to do list three miles long, and the fact that my basically black furniture is dusty... AGAIN. I worry that I'm not doing enough... and then I worry that I'm doing too much. I worry that we'll never be able to retire, I worry that my kids will never understand how much I really love them, that something might be wrong with one of them, and most of all, that if I don't worry about these things nothing will get done, I'll never find that job, I'll never love my kids enough, and I'll be alone forever.
And what good comes from all of this worrying? Nothing. Nada.
Worrying doesn't produce the job I've always wanted... it doesn't make my kids healthy, in fact, it makes me sick! Worrying doesn't put money in a retirement fund, it doesn't give me a huge family when I'm 75, and it doesn't add any fulfillment whatsoever to my life. In fact, it steals from me the joy of my baby's smile. It steals from me the joy of my savior's grace.
So why do I continue to do it? It seems, I feel as if I don't worry, things won't get done. Without worry I'll never finish that to do list. I consciously know that completing that to do list will eliminate that worry, thus, I've began to use worry as a motivator. The same with a career. Looking for a job currently (during a time when they are virtually non-existent), my searching for a job comes because of the motivation that comes with worrying about it. I don't want to worry about it anymore, so I look a little harder and make it something to not be worried about.
It's about me. I have to solve my worry. It's my way of "helping" God out... taking care of it. You know that verse that says, "God helps those who help themselves," yah, it doesn't exist, but I may as well make a t-shirt that says it because that's how I live.
But what happens when I'm worrying about things that I can't fix -- the death of my family, my death, sickness, life circumstances... if I can't "fix" them, then I am unable to stop worrying about them. No motivator will fix those problems. So how am I supposed to handle them when I don't let God handle anything?
You see, He doesn't need my help to meet my needs. I don't need to feel like God needs me... I don't want to feel like God needs me. If God needed me, He wouldn't be God... I would be, and I can't handle all of that stress.
I feel like I've kind of rambled on about this, but it's really been self-discovery for me that I use worry as a motivator. Knowing this forces me to address worry as it stands in my life and allow God within me to guard my heart and my mind from worry.

The Greatest Fans in Baseball

I have finally learned first hand the purpose of a rain check. You see, it has been my experience with rain checks that they typically have nothing to do with rain. When someone asks you to dinner and you have prior arrangements, or in some cases simply do not want to go, you quip, "Oh, rain check." In other words, we'll do it some other time.

Well, Aaron and I, along with our good parent pals Brian and Jill, had tickets to Friday night's Cardinal game vs the Milwaukee Brewers. The forecast did not look great, but according to weather.com, who I have since found to be quite unreliable, there was less than a 10% chance of rain up through 10:00.

Well, long story short, at the beginning of the second inning you could see 40,000 fans watching a large dark cloud quickly move over the third base line. Notice, the beginning of the second inning, we had not even made 8:00 yet. Before we knew it everyone was huddled in the concourse awaiting news that the game had indeed been postponed and we went home to find out when the rematch would happen. (We joked that Albert and his buddies were hanging out in the Clubhouse playing Wii Sports -- you know, taking batting practice and all. Imagine it, it's really quite funny - Wii people striking out Pujols and Schumaker. Ahh, well, we thought it was funny.)

So anyway ---
#1 Greatest Fans in Baseball Moment - 40,000 fans hanging around for more than an hour to hear "the game is postponed". But this isn't the biggie.

Fast forward to Monday - the rescheduled game time.
Here we gather once more to watch the Cardinals go through eight, yes, I said eight, pitchers (that we know of, we left at the top of the 8th inning) and get a beating from the Brewers. However, one thing happened in the midst of that game that I hope to carry out in my own life. It is the epitome of being the greatest fans in baseball.

For those of you who know Braun of the Brewers - who despite his small stature and seemingly powerless frame has a pretty incredible batting average - you know he's quite the left fielder too. During last nights game, he made several amazing catches, all of which cost us several runs and the chance of even making the game a competition. After one amazing diving catch in left field the majority of those sitting near us (we have the privilege of being about 12 rows off the field, just to the right of being behind the visitors dugout) gave a standing ovation and a round of applause to this particular player as he returned to the dugout. Several men tipped their hats. What was a seemingly small gesture was really sportsmanship at it's finest.

And, me, being the analytical I am, can't help but wonder how this applies to those of us in the Christian faith. Would people look at us and consider us the greatest fans of our faith? I mean, 40,000 people who love the Cardinals (and maybe 2000 who love the Brewers) hung around for more than an hour on Friday night in hopes (and there wasn't much hope, let me tell you) that we could once again be back at our seats rooting on our teams. Many Christians I know wake up on Sunday mornings and if it's raining, they go back to bed. People spend dollar after dollar sporting all of the Cardinal attire they can - and we as Christians sometimes just find it hard to talk about Jesus. Several fans sat near us with score books. I really couldn't believe it... fans, keeping tab and tally of every move of the game. Yet we find it difficult to pick up our Bibles daily. Devout Cardinal fans can stand and applaud and support those on the other team, but we as Christians can get so stuck in our religious circles that we don't even know how to love people in the world.

Please don't misunderstand me, I'm not knocking loving Cardinal baseball, or your favorite team in general. I, myself, find baseball and hockey games to be two of my favorite things to spend my time doing. In fact, if some season tickets to either ever fell in my lap I would heed the opportunity to be one of those lunatic fans that knows everyone in all of the seats around her. I really just dig going. So I'm not knocking baseball or being a fan of it.
Instead, what I am questioning is our commitments, our priorities, because if those season tickets fell in my lap, I'd be selling or giving away Wednesday and Sunday games because I have a Jesus and a ministry He has given me that far outweigh my commitment to the Cardinals. I hope that people know that I love Jesus first, my husband second, my child a close third, friends, family, and church family, and then the Cardinals (and the Blues if we must get specific...). If people know me as a Cardinal fan before they know me as a Jesus fan, I've failed. It's that simple.

I do count it a privilege to be considered one of many of the greatest fans in baseball, but I can only pray and hope that I can one day stand before the Lord and He can greet me, "Welcome home good and faithful servant." That, my friend, is being the ultimate fan.

My First Mother's Day

It’s my first mother’s day. I didn’t know I’d be so excited or care so much about such a day. Better yet, I didn’t know I’d be so proud to be able to celebrate the holiday. I mean, seriously. It’s the holiday of cheesy gifts. You know what I mean, the cheesy sweatshirts that say “#1 Mom” on them... or a fern. That’s a gift every mom wants. Personally, never before would I have even considered wearing some kind of “mom” shirt --- November 3rd has come and gone and now, well, if I could find one trendy enough, I may heed the opportunity. Better yet, I asked for Bryton’s gift for my mother’s day to be an Old Navy shirt that I found for him that had a foam finger on it that said “Mom’s #1 Fan”, with “Mother’s Day 2009” underneath it. I’m really looking forward to some pictures of him in that. It’ll do until little league when I can be like all of the other crazy mom’s in the world and have the acceptable mom shirts... you know, the same shirt that all of the kids have except mine says in big letters “BRYTON’S MOM’ on the back, with, of course, his number underneath. Awww, motherhood.
I don’t know, there’s just something exciting about it. I almost feel as if I’ve been allowed into a secret club that I didn’t even realize existed or that I was missing out on until I was initiated in. Just as there is no feeling like marriage and being a newlywed, there is no feeling like being a parent...
It’s work. Please don’t get me wrong. But it’s not work I would trade for any kind of liberty, be it personal freedoms, relational freedoms, even financial freedoms. For, the advantages and benefits of this role far outweigh the costs!
There are just certain parts of my day now that I can’t believe I went so long without, particularly, the morning. Walking into his room in the morning and bending over his crib to have this little person smile at me with such sincerity, well, as I type this it brings tears to my eyes.
You know in our world of “plastic people”, we smile at everyone out of obligation... our lives our too busy... we have too many things to do to stop and talk, or to even share a smile... but during the eight o’clock hour, this little boy, because he wants to, shows me probably the greatest means of affection I’ll probably ever know this side of heaven... a big, cheesy, gummy grin, simply because at that particular moment I’m exactly the person he wants to see. I have satisfied him, simply with my presence. Isn’t that what every girl wants? To be loved and adored simply by being present. He satisfies an innate desire in my heart, all with a smile. It is really nothing short of a miracle.
I cherish it now, before the backtalking and grounding stage, though I’m sure at that point there will be another trait to adore about him. But for now, I heed mother’s day. What a celebration... mothers – I’d be lying if I said they didn’t work hard, but we are so richly blessed, and to have a day where we can celebrate our blessings... well, that in itself is a blessing. For me, I am honored at the opportunity to be celebrated, but am more excited to celebrate for myself this beautiful family that God has so blessed me with. Bryton and his daddy, such blessings. My first mother’s day... it’s really a very sweet fragrance and I am both excited and honored to be included in such a celebration.

Trying to Get Our Attention - 1 Life to Live

I sometimes get sad during conversations. That is a difficult statement to start with, because currently you're wondering what in the world I'm talking about. Here's an example:
Aaron: (after a particular really nice car comes on tv) Honey, can I have one of those?
Me: When we get rich.
Aaron: Well, maybe in another life, because I don't think you and I will ever be that rich.
Don't get me wrong... it's not a greedy plea, because it really had nothing to do with the abundance of money or the lack thereof that made me sad. It was the reality that, as he said in not so many words, we have only one life. One life to experience all of the things we want to experience, one life to help all of those we want to help, one life to have all of the children we'll ever have, one life to see them get to grow up, one chance at having a career you feel fulfilled in.... one life. Ha, just writing that reminds me of a t-shirt I have.... it's my favorite. It has an outline of Africa on the back of it and says, "You have 1 life... do something." Five words and a number.... very powerful.
It makes me think of all of the people in dead end jobs... living paycheck to paycheck, hating their work. And all of those people dying of Aids or malnutrition in other countries... this is their one life. It reminds me of all of those people battling depression, tangled in their own self hate and darkness... this is their one life. It reminds me of myself... wishing I knew the answer to where my career path was... hating the fact that my little boy is growing up so quickly, praying I have the opportunity to have another, realizing... I only get this one opportunity, and when it passes, it's gone.
One life. Most specifically, what this blog is really about, it reminds me of a particular family member. I won't name any names, and in fact, I'll be quite vague, but this individual has had a really tough go.
In a nutshell:
He hee hummed around and lost the love of his life, settled for less, produced the new love of his life (a child from this particular marriage), got a divorce, has been under his ex's thumbnail for many years, has lost job after job after job (one for sure at his own fault, the other's not so much), has caught himself in the web of gambling... has struggled with depression, and has currently realized that this is his life. He's writing a book, and as it sits, it's a depressing drama unfolding before his eyes. If there's cards to be dealt, he's been dealt all of the wrong ones.
So what's up with this? There's this 'loving' God out there who cares about us, wants what is best for us, is looking out for us, and the one life that this particular individual gets dealt is bunk. What's up with this?
In this individual's instance, I wonder if God is trying to get his attention. He's not a believer, so he doesn't share in the joy and blessings that comes with knowing Jesus as his savior, so I want to say that God is waving red flags all over town trying to get this man to go, "Oh."
But what about in the life of the child born HIV+, what about in the life of the believer... the modern day Lot? What is God doing with their one life?
It's something I've pondered a lot lately. I know that God makes good of all situations... but it's just something to ponder.
And then it's something to act upon. This is our one shot... it's our one shot to get it right... we don't get a do-over after this life is over. God is the God of "do-overs" in the midst of life, but after our life is done... it's done. What are you doing with your one life? Do something.

What's It All About

I'm a sucker for curriculum. Well, for those of you who know me, I'm just a sucker for good writing and good ideas that communicate faith well... so when that comes in the form of curriculum, I'm a sucker.
I like everything about it. I like reading it, the way it's packaged, the cover, I even like how it smells. It's that new book smell or something. But there is one thing I don't like about it; we tend to get tangled up in it... often.
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about the studies, the rigmarole that comes with 'ministry,' particularly, youth ministry, and I've come to a conclusion. I think sometimes we do too much studying, too much talking, and not enough ministry. We find it easy to sit in on a Sunday morning service, Sunday evening fellowship, and Wednesday night small group and do what we do best... soak up stuff (or fill a seat, depending on who you are), and talk, amongst ourselves, but when it comes to actually getting into the world and loving people, or even more than that, just loving the people who are already in our world, we, well, we fail, miserably.
I noticed this in a restaurant recently. The restaurant was busy, and well, our group, made it busier, much busier. For the first time in my life I felt like God had given me a multiple choice assignment. I had options, and He had made them very clear. I could balk at the fact that I knew it was going to be awhile before our group got in to eat, which would severely set our schedule back, OR I could be a blessing to these people who were now frantic as we were filling their waiting area. Realizing my option, I decided to be the blessing.
I don't say this to pat my own back. Trust me, I've probably chosen poorly most times in the same situation. In fact, I know that I'm not always the best at how I treat people. (Seriously, I think I have road rage... yeesh.) But I realized at this moment... in this restaurant... that every SECOND of our day is an option.... do we balk at life, be rude to that person because, hey, they don't know we're a Christian, be impatient, judge that person because of how they look, or do I be a blessing. You see, being a blessing is ministry. Doing a Bible study is not bad, but it's not ministry. Knowing everything you can about Jesus, not bad, but not ministry. Loving people, that's ministry. Loving people despite where they are, who they are, and what they've done, well, that's Jesus.
So what's it all about? Why do we do those Bible studies? Why do we learn about Jesus? Why do we spend our time talking? It's supposed to be to make us better ministers, but if we aren't doing ministry, we're just wasting our time. I mean Jesus said to make disciple, not to sit around and talk about it all the time. That's what it's all about.

Easter

I love Christmas. I love the warm feeling of the house when cookies are baking. I love reading the "Christmas story" from the Bible. I love watching Elf, and being with family, and having a Christmas tree up. I really do love it.
But ahhh, Easter. We have no decorations. We don't always meet with family, and besides the small Easter baskets I make for Aaron and Bryton yearly, there's no hustle and bustle or gifts. I think the lack of the hustle and bustle adds to the celebration. There's little confusing, in our family, what the 'holiday' is about. I cringe at even calling it a "holiday". Easter is not just a day off work. It's not a vacation... it's a celebration. It is the day that our savior was raised from the dead! I think we look past it sometimes. Think about it. A man died and raised from the dead. That is NOT normal! When's the last time you saw it happen? Yeah, it doesn't. It's a big deal. It' so easy when we celebrate "church" and "faith" to overlook the pillars of it... and let's face it -- without Resurrection Sunday, we are, well, nothing. True, Christ's blood cleanses us from sin, but it's His resurrection that allows us to live eternally. It's His resurrection that gives us life. It's a big deal.
You know, I wish we threw huge parties at church on Easter Sunday. We let the Easter bunny own the holiday. Me, I want to be jumping up and down in the aisles praising God for His Son and for His Son's resurrection on Easter Sunday. I mean, it's Jesus, He's what it's really about. It really brings tears to me eyes. I can't understand how people don't get it.
Here's a little something I wrote recently. I really don't want to post it, it's meant to be heard, not read... but here it is anyway:

Can you see them?
They are moving, darting, running, racing
Chasing after one another to a tomb
Not just any tomb, but the Jesus tomb
The tomb that sat empty before three days ago
Now has been rumored to be empty again
But where did He go?
Where has He gone,
Can it be true that this man of no sin
Could rise from the grave and live once again?
A man, just a baby three decades ago,
Could love and could live
Could serve and could die
And now is it true that he could again be alive?
Is it so?
The man that fed thousands with a few fish and some bread
Could die on a cross and then rise from the dead?
That this man, what a man, could wash feet and speak truth
Could grow and speak and please and heal
Could pray and work and prepare a meal
But not just any meal – the Last Supper
His body, His blood
Poured out for us.
That this sin scarred on me could be washed away clean,
By his wounds we are healed, on that tree where He died
Could wash on the out and heal the inside.
Is it true?
That in John 3:16 that says God loves the world,
That Jesus knew what this love would cost –
for His life to be slain for all who are lost.
A man, what a man –
Selfless, Sinless, Love that’s endless,
Caring beyond comparing
Would lay Himself down – guilty, charged
Bearing the weight of my lust...
Of my greed...
Of my lies...
And deceit...
Of my gossip and hate
That this man who’s so great could humble Himself,
And offer such grace.
And Jesus cried out, “Oh my God, why hath thou forsaken me?”
The rejection He felt,
The anguish of nails,
The weight of the sin,
All to hang there and die for us men.
But Jesus didn’t just die.
He wasn’t a martyr.
Yes He died on that day and was taken away
To a tomb where a stone locked in the dark,
Locked in the death
And a guard, He stood watch.
Day 1, Day 2 both passed away,
But on Day 3 was the race.
Word had spread quickly
the stone had been rolled,
The tomb was not closed,
The body was gone!
And racing to see was Peter and John
who got to the tomb to see folded grave clothes.
And the Jesus we love – No, he didn’t just die
He rose from the grave and gave US new life.
Without resurrection it’s just a hero’s death.
It would be blood to cleanse us but no life within us.
His rising was vital
Death could not win
He was God Himself.
He was perfect,
True,
Faithful,
Wonderful.
So that morning in folding the clothes as he left
He dusted his hands of death and it’s sting
Not just for Him, but for you and for me,
That we can be saved from ourselves and from the anguish of Hell
But that we could live –
That we too could be raised!
That when our lives here are done
the people can race because though our bodies will lie
We can live once again, away from the weight and the hurt of our sin,
We can live with the one who died in His love
We can dwell at His feet
Stare at His face
Sing
Shout
Love
Praise
Because this God who loved us
Knew His wrath was so great –
That His son came to live
And die
And be raised.