I sometimes get sad during conversations. That is a difficult statement to start with, because currently you're wondering what in the world I'm talking about. Here's an example:
Aaron: (after a particular really nice car comes on tv) Honey, can I have one of those?
Me: When we get rich.
Aaron: Well, maybe in another life, because I don't think you and I will ever be that rich.
Don't get me wrong... it's not a greedy plea, because it really had nothing to do with the abundance of money or the lack thereof that made me sad. It was the reality that, as he said in not so many words, we have only one life. One life to experience all of the things we want to experience, one life to help all of those we want to help, one life to have all of the children we'll ever have, one life to see them get to grow up, one chance at having a career you feel fulfilled in.... one life. Ha, just writing that reminds me of a t-shirt I have.... it's my favorite. It has an outline of Africa on the back of it and says, "You have 1 life... do something." Five words and a number.... very powerful.
It makes me think of all of the people in dead end jobs... living paycheck to paycheck, hating their work. And all of those people dying of Aids or malnutrition in other countries... this is their one life. It reminds me of all of those people battling depression, tangled in their own self hate and darkness... this is their one life. It reminds me of myself... wishing I knew the answer to where my career path was... hating the fact that my little boy is growing up so quickly, praying I have the opportunity to have another, realizing... I only get this one opportunity, and when it passes, it's gone.
One life. Most specifically, what this blog is really about, it reminds me of a particular family member. I won't name any names, and in fact, I'll be quite vague, but this individual has had a really tough go.
In a nutshell:
He hee hummed around and lost the love of his life, settled for less, produced the new love of his life (a child from this particular marriage), got a divorce, has been under his ex's thumbnail for many years, has lost job after job after job (one for sure at his own fault, the other's not so much), has caught himself in the web of gambling... has struggled with depression, and has currently realized that this is his life. He's writing a book, and as it sits, it's a depressing drama unfolding before his eyes. If there's cards to be dealt, he's been dealt all of the wrong ones.
So what's up with this? There's this 'loving' God out there who cares about us, wants what is best for us, is looking out for us, and the one life that this particular individual gets dealt is bunk. What's up with this?
In this individual's instance, I wonder if God is trying to get his attention. He's not a believer, so he doesn't share in the joy and blessings that comes with knowing Jesus as his savior, so I want to say that God is waving red flags all over town trying to get this man to go, "Oh."
But what about in the life of the child born HIV+, what about in the life of the believer... the modern day Lot? What is God doing with their one life?
It's something I've pondered a lot lately. I know that God makes good of all situations... but it's just something to ponder.
And then it's something to act upon. This is our one shot... it's our one shot to get it right... we don't get a do-over after this life is over. God is the God of "do-overs" in the midst of life, but after our life is done... it's done. What are you doing with your one life? Do something.
GraceAnne's Grand Entry!
4 years ago