Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Confessions of a 23 Year Old Pastor's Wife

Hi. Most of you know me. Well, most of you who are reading this. You know my quirks, you know my strengths, my weaknesses, my desires and my shortcomings. You know me. I'm 23. I'm finally graduating college in May. I graduated high school 5 years ago. Most of my friends are just graduating, just getting married, just having babies. I'm pretty much in that boat with them. Life is exciting right now. And I'm basically the same as they are. And God called me to be a Pastor's wife. Being a pastor's wife is really great. I have a great ministry and a great call to serve my husband as he serves the church and the community. We have a great heart to see people saved, and we're passionate, together, about our ministry.
But I think people get confused. I think people hear the term "pastor" or "pastor's wife" and they see "sinless" or particular duties that come along with the word. Now those of you who know me know that I sin (and you who are reading this most certainly know me). You also know that I have a heart to not only serve my husband but to also serve alongside him in ministry. But, I must admit, I don't believe my calling or my duty is to serve every woman in the church by being something I'm not.
You see, I was recently approached by an individual who was obviously a little offended that I haven't been making contacts with the ladies in the church. Please, again, don't misunderstand. It isn't that I don't want to know these women or to speak with them at church, but my ministry is with my husband, to my husband, and I'm at church everytime the doors are open. I serve, but obviously not in the respect that she'd like for me to.
And all of this got me thinking. The expectations that are often set for our pastors and our pastors wives are not only unbiblical at times (there are standards, don't get me wrong, just sometimes the standards the church puts on individuals are even more critical than those that scripture put upon us) but are often unattainable. You see, I'm a normal person with an extraordinary calling -- just like you. We all have extraordinary callings as Christians. And by setting these standards on me, not only are you setting me up for failure (because I fail... often) you are setting yourself up for disappointment.
I love the Lord, and I love the church, and I love my life as a pastor's wife. But, just because I'm a pastor's wife doesn't mean that I make a mean casserole, or that I wear a skirt to church every week. It also doesn't mean that I don't enjoy listening to some Coldplay sometimes. My being a pastor's wife doesn't make me want to take part in the woman's scrapbooking fellowship, I really hate scrapbooking. I'm not real crafty. And to be honest, I love hanging out with church people, but when my husband gets to be home, I want to be with him. You see, I break the mold as a pastor's wife... and I bet your pastor's wife might to... if you let her.
Well anyway... just a little sidenote to one interesting ride...
Alicia

1 comment:

Hannah said...

Alicia,
You pretty much hit the nail on the head...and I appreciate your insight...it gives me hope for when I become a pastor's wife....:)Love you girl!