Saturday, July 25, 2009

How Do Parents Do It?

So I'll admit it; I was one of those really insensitive females that would listen to the "sob stories" of the older, much wiser, females who were just heart broken that their children could do... *fill in the blank*, because they were getting so big. You know, they are the moms who cry when their babies go off to kindergarten, or the moms who take forever to start feeding their kids 'real food' because they just can't be that big yet. I mean, come on, growing up is part of life. I never understood it... until now.
So, granted, take Bryton's food away and the world may end, but I can but only guarantee that I stand no chance of making it through day 1 of kindergarten without shedding at least one tear. Five years old seems SOOOOOOOOOOOO far away... but my-lanta, he's almost one. My baby boy, our huge life adjustment, our "keep us up all nighter", is this stage ever gonna be over little boy, is almost one. The first year goes by soooo fast, and the changes that come so quickly give you little time to blink, let alone adjust. It seems like as soon as I figure out something he likes or doesn't like he's moved on from that and is ready for bigger and better things. I have a feeling I should just get used to this as his little life moves on.
From day 1 I've been VERY hesitant to "wish away" any stages. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't always easy. I don't exactly love being woken up 4 or 5 times through the night, but I tried to relish in it while I could just sit and hold him while he ate. I know someday he probably won't want me to hug him in public. I didn't enjoy his "collicky" epidsodes, but I'd be lying if I said that it didn't feel reallllly good that I was the one person who could calm him. I know that each little stage, each little moment, is going to come and go and I may never ever get that experience again. The thought that we may never have another baby to hold and love still shatters my heart, but it makes me ever more diligent to make sure I miss as little of Bryton's life as possible. I want to see the first steps, the first crawling... the first straight A's, his first basket, his first homerun, etc.
Our lives are really but a vapor. I don't know that I ever understood that until B came along. I mean, seriously, to go through life stages so quickly is something I had never seen before. I know I don't get it all right, but I know that I'm trying. God is teaching me more and more through my marriage and through parenthood, and I know that I'm going to be a better person because of the lessons taught to me by the world's sweetest little boy and by my amazing husband. God willing I get the opportunity to experience the firsts again.

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